Surviving the Day...

Pictured above is a picture from Bill Sullivan’s Turnstile Photography Project.

It was 5:00 am on a Monday when Grace woke up, yet she didn’t move. Her mascara had ran and tinted her white pillows. She stared up at the ceiling, hard enough to see through all three stories on top of her, and simply waited. Her time laying there seemed to be endless. Time went by tediously.

Her eyes filled with tears as she moaned and rolled over and cried softly into her unclean pillow. All that could be heard were the muffling sounds of her sobbing until…

BEEP!..................BEEP!..................BEEP!..................BEEP!

Grace slowly reached for her alarm clock and hit the dismiss button. She turned to the empty space next to her and gazed at the untouched pillow and unwrinkled covers. When tears built up again, she found just enough strength to get out of bed and wake up her 6 year old daughter , and prepare for her first day back at work. After her shower she went into Lyla’s room.

“Lyla! Lyla!...Wake up honey! You have to go to school…Lyla?”

“BOO!” she screamed as she popped out of the covers.

“Did I scare you?” She giggled

“Yes honey, but we need to get going. We can’t be late for our first day back.” She began as she started dressing Lyla.

“Now go brush your teeth while I make your fruity pebbles cereal.”

This gave Grace about 10 quick minutes to change and put on her make up. When she was done she looked at the mirror and shook her head gently. Then rushed out the door. She stopped and looked as Lyla finished her breakfast.

"She's lucky," She thought. "She doesn't even realize he's not here anymore." then she elt out a big sigh.

“Lyla go get your backpack please. Help Mommy.”

“MMMM KAYYYYY!”

Lyla grabbed her Dora the Explorer backpack as Graces picked up her simple black bag and her lunch in a plastic grocery bag. Holding hands they ran out of the apartment building and walked about 3 blocks before they hit Lyla’s school. She dropped her off and wished her a fun day.

“I’ll be back to pick you up at 5, ok? Be good.”

“Ok I will.” She smiled then took the teachers hand and went into the school.

Grace quickly paced towards the subway, determined to be on time. As she passed through inserting her subway card like she had done several times before. It felt like ages since she had been on public transportation, when in reality it had only been a week and a half. Friends and family were always sending taxis to pick her up so she would be alone at a time like this.

Walking towards the subway she tightly held her gold necklace.

When standing in front of her work, she gripped her necklace even tighter as if she was reluctant to be there. But she took a deep breath and strolled through greeting everyone she knew. As more and more people gave her their condolences about her husband, she walked faster and faster. She didn’t know how she was going to survive the day...